Funny Quotes About Love and All Its Complications
Everyone has their own take on what love is, what it does and why it exists. Check out these quotes for a hint of romantic comedic inspiration. - Sarah Rogers
Love like you’ll never be hurt. – William W. Purkey
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind. – William Shakespeare
Love is like the wind, you can’t see it, but you can feel it. – Nicholas Sparks
Love must be as much a light, as it is a flame. – Henry David Thoreau
These quotes are written by famous authors and poets and resonate with many on the power that love can have over a person’s body and mind.
However, a lot more has been said about love, some of which have been extremely entertaining. The following list of 55 quotes about love may come from less famous authors, but definitely has an equal mix of truth, bitterness, hilarity and laughter.
This lists hopes to capture some of the best. Some quotes are from famous authors, artists and musicians, while others are from unknown authors that just have had either great or horrible luck with love.
On what love is
1 Love is hiding who you are at all times. It’s wearing make-up to bed and going downstairs to Burger King to poop. – 30 Rock
2 The great question, which I have not been able to answer, is “What does a woman want?” – Freud
3 Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. – Lynda Barry
4 Love is like a faucet, it turns off and on. – Billie Holiday
5 Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. – Natasha Leggero
6 You call it madness, but I call it love. – Don Byas
7 Love thy neighbor — and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier. – Mae West
On falling in love
1 I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. – Woody Allen
2 Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein
3 A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. – Tim Allen
4 People should fall in love with their eyes closed. – Andy Warhol
On sex and feeling sexy
1 Love is the same as like, except you feel sexier. – Judith Viorst
2 There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. – Melaine Griffith
3 The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. – Woody Allen
4 If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes. – Chuck Palahniuk
5 I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough. – Russell Brand
6 Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions. – Woody Allen
On cute love
1 If a hug represented how much I loved you, I would hold you in my arms forever. – Mandy Hampton
2 I love you like a fat kid loves cake. – Scott Adams
3 Love is being stupid together. – Paul Valery
4 What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. – Pearl Bailey
On marriage and commitment
1 Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner. – Jerry Seinfeld2 Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage. – Ambrose Bierce
3 No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. – Unknown
4 I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner
5 Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in. – Richard Jeni
6 Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. – Anonymous
7 Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. – Unknown
8 Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. – Albert Einstein
9 Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. – Samuel Johnson
10 An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie
11 Any husband who says, “My wife and I are completely equal partners,” is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. – Bill Cosby
12 A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
On the difficulty of love and heartbreak
1 A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick. A youth with his first girl makes everybody sick. – Mary Wilso
2 Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of the species. – W. Somerset Maugham
3 Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. – Jules Renard
4 All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. – Charles Schulz
5 A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. – Friedrich Nietzsche
6 You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale. – Hussein Nishah
7 If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people. – Jarod Kintz
8 Heartbreak makes you wise. And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. – Unknown
9 Love is like war, easy to begin but hard to end. – Leo Buscaglia
10 Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess. – Lemony Snicket
11 Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. – George Burns
12 If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Seriously. Punch them in the face and go get some ice cream. – Frank Ocean
13 Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it’s just another way to bleed. – Laurell K. Hamilton
14 Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs. – Miss Piggy
15 If your heart were really broken, you’d be dead. So shut up. – Unknown
Special Friends quotes about love
And to keep it light and funny, a few special Friends additions have been tacked onto the list, because most of us know that Monica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Joey and Phoebe have all had their own amazing and awful experiences in love. Their show might have been retired years ago, but their absolutely hilarious accounts of love have not been forgotten.1 I’m hopeless, and awkward and desperate for love. – Chandler
2 (On flirting with the ladies) Hey! How you doin’. – Joey
3 Because she’s your lobster… C’mon, you guys. It’s a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin’ around their tank, ya know, holding claws. – Phoebe
4 He’s so pretty I want to cry. – Rachel
5 (On the awkwardness of your ex dating someone new) Ah, love. L-O-V-E love. ‘L’ is for life. I mean what is life without love? O’ is for OH WOW! ‘V’ is for this very surprising turn of events, which I am *still* fine with by the way. ‘EEE’ is for how extremely normal I find it, that you two are together and that one day you might get married… and have children of your own. – Ross
6 I’m Monica. I’m disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants. – Monica
7 (On heartbreak) Your love is like a giant pigeon, crapping on my heart. – Phoebe
Keep these quotes in mind the next time you find yourself in a sticky situation in love. Who knows, these little gems of wisdom might just propel you towards a healthier perspective on love!
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